The Jetpacker

Come up with a list of the 5 greatest creations ever and Google is sure to be up there (behind Guitar Hero and above the wheel).  Google is advancing so quickly, it’s only a matter of time before it’s tying your shoelaces and cooking you breakfast.

But before Google sets it sights on world domination, they need to fix one little problem first: Google City Tours.

Recently launched, Google City Tours is a free service that uses Google Maps to plot pre-made itineraries of 1 to 5 days in select cities (some major cities like Hong Kong and Tokyo aren’t available yet).  It’s great for tourists who are traveling on a moment’s notice and don’t have enough time to create their own itinerary.

It’s also great for tourists who don’t like to eat or rest.  Unless you’re half-robot, the suggested itineraries will pose a real challenge.

Here are 8 reasons why you shouldn’t use Google City Tours just yet:

The Google Alphabet: A, C, B, H...

#1. It doesn’t take into consideration that you’re a human being. The itineraries start at 9 a.m. and end at 10 p.m., packing in sight after sight without meal breaks or rest.

#2. It doesn’t take into account modes of transportation like taxis or subways. Each tour suggests you walk from one destination to the next, even if they’re separated by miles (and mountains).  It’s not uncommon to see the direction “walk for 145 minutes.”

#3. It doesn’t always clump together nearby tourist spots. You might start on one end of a city, then walk to a sight on the other side of the city, then go back to your starting point to see a sight that was right next door to begin with.

#4. It doesn’t consider weather. Do you really want to spend hours walking through five feet of snow in Alaska?  Or spend hours trekking across the Las Vegas desert in 100+ degree heat?

#5. It doesn’t think about your safety. There are certain places you just shouldn’t go at night, but some of Google’s itineraries will lead you there at 9 or 10 p.m.

A constellation or a walking tour?

#6. It doesn’t factor in wait time. Each tour assumes that you can walk right up to the ticket booth at a museum without waiting in line.  (You don’t want to tick off an art snob.  Have you ever seen a guy that looks like Moby get mad?)

#7. It isn’t flexible. Itineraries are supposed to change depending upon the length of your visit.  So if you’re visiting for one day, your itinerary should lead you to all the highlights.  If you’re visiting longer, your itinerary should spread out the highlights and take you to other places that we’ll call “medium-lights.”  Not so for Google City Tours.  It doesn’t matter if your visit is 1 day or 5 days, you get the same daily itinerary.

#8. It doesn’t always include major tourist sights. The 3-day tour of Paris neglects the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre.  The tour of Prague won’t take you to Prague Castle, but it will take you to the… Sex Machines Museum?  And if you plan on visiting Rabat, Morocco, you won’t see many tourist spots.  Instead, you’ll go on walking tours to see other hotels.

Look, it’s only a matter of time before Google City Tours becomes awesome enough to save you money and replace your guide book.  Until that happens, use this service to get ideas about where to go and what to see.  But stick to a proven itinerary… or prepare for a marathon.

If you must challenge yourself, check out Google City Tours here.