The weather has turned to the dark side… also known as normal Pacific Northwest weather.  After a week of sunshine and joy, grey clouds have covered the sky and rain has returned to Vancouver.

We consider ourselves fortunate enough to have been in Vancouver for one of their warmest winters ever.  Actually, we take responsibility for bringing the warmth of Southern California with us to Canada.  You can thank us, Canada, by giving up your hockey gold medal.  Fair trade, right?

It’s too bad because we had a lot to do on our last day at the Winter Olympics, but the weather interfered.

We started the day at Granville Island… which isn’t even an island.  It’s actually a peninsula.  The island/peninsula is full of artsy shops and clothing stores and a popular brewery.

Granville Island used to be entirely industrial. Today there is only one manufacturing plant remaining.

It sounded like there were a few Olympic things to do, but nothing manifested.  We asked a volunteer if it was worth it to wait in a line to get into Atlantic Canada House, and she said, “You guys don’t want to be here.  You don’t want to wait hours just to see a bunch of posters.”

So we walked over to the Switzerland House.  Turns out it wasn’t a pavilion like most of the other international houses… it was only a restaurant.

Again, nothing to see.  We’re changing the name from Granville Island to Deception Peninsula.

We ventured into the one thing we knew actually existed: the Granville Public Market.  I always enjoy wandering local markets to see what people eat, the quality of their produce — it’s exceptionally high in Vancouver — and the independent food and craft vendors.

Any stall that features food advertised as “Better Than Sex” has our attention.  I can’t judge if the flavored almonds at Dvorak were in fact better than sex (because it’s been a while), but they were delicious.  We particularly enjoyed the orange chocolate, and the almonds covered in Grade “Eh” maple syrup.

Near the public market was a toy store that had an adult-size door and a kid-size door.

That was enough to draw me in.  Once inside, I couldn’t believe my eyes…

I finally found the Quatchi beanie I had been searching for for days.  Every store I went into, the store owner told me they sold out minutes after receiving them.  I thought I would never find one.

I grabbed the beanie off the rack, protected it like a winning lottery ticket and purchased it without even checking the price tag.  By this point, it didn’t matter if I even wanted the beanie anymore; it was a matter of principle.  I know I’ll most likely never wear it — we don’t get beanie weather in Orange County — but I felt incomplete without it.

After lunch at Cat’s Social House, we were on our way to the Place de la Francophonie when we came upon 10-foot tall guys challenging little kids to a street hockey match.

If only I could grow a few more feet, I’d apply to be one of Duh Hockey Guys.

Four years from now, Sochi, Russia will host the next Winter Olympics… and they went all out to showcase their city.  The Sochi House was designed to introduce the world to the city and the culture of Russia, and give a sneak peek at what it will be like at the 2014 Winter Games.

And if the next Olympics winds up being anything like the preview, it’ll be a blast.  The plans for a downtown sports and entertainment complex are ambitious.  Not only will the facilities be new and cutting edge, they will all be located in the nucleus of Sochi so visitors don’t have to travel great lengths to get from one venue to another — they can simply walk from the hockey arena to the ice skating arena to the speed skating arena.

Besides architectural models, Sochi House also featured a Russian Hockey Hall of Fame, a small stage for Russian musical acts — we watched a Russian rapper — and a room where visitors could handle the Olympic torches from the 2010 Winter Games and the 2008 Summer Games.

From there we followed the water along False Creek to a concentrated area of assorted pavilions.  Any time we had passed by this area, it was packed.  Today… it was empty.

We walked inside Maison du Quebec to avoid the rain… only to find it was open air.  There was a small covered area with tables in front of a stage, so we took a seat to come up with a plan.

That didn’t last long.  There was a country band performing.  And if there’s anything I like less than country music, it’s country music in a language I don’t understand.  In this case, it was French.  And it was especially harmful to my ears.

So we went over to the Saskatchewan Pavilion.  We heard it was one of the best pavilions… and whoever told us that wasn’t lying.

It was one of the only pavilions that sold alcohol.  Which means it was one of the only fun pavilions (according to many locals).

No kids.  Rowdy crowd.  Big screens showing the Canada vs. Germany hockey game.  And, my favorite, an $8 bison burger.  It was surprisingly delicious.

We tried to check out some of the other pavilions nearby, but there were long lines to get into all of them and we didn’t want to stand in the rain.  Plus, we had to be at a hockey game in about 90 minutes.

So we went right back to the Saskatchewan Pavilion to hang out.  Some of our favorite moments:

A woman came over to Ashley insisting she was on the Canadian curling team.  After refuting this claim about 8 times, the woman finally said, “Congratulations.  You look just like her.”  And walked away.  You often don’t get congratulated for looking like someone semi-famous, but I guess it’s better than not looking like anybody.

Then, a man with an exceptional mullet said we looked American.  We told him we were.  He proudly bragged to his friends.  Then he sat with us to talk about his home town of Jasper, Manitoba.  After a few minutes, he left… only to come back and talk to us another 10 minutes about Jasper.

Visitors to the Saskatchewan Pavilion received a beach ball on their way out.  Disregard the fact that Saskatchewan is actually n the middle of Canada and all prairie.  Well, a few other people must have left and then came back like we did.  They blew up their beach balls and started a game of volleyball that spanned the entire tent.  A security guard didn’t like that people were having fun, so he confiscated the ball.  Everyone booed.

20 minutes before we planned on leaving, a band came on stage.  It was another French-speaking country band.  Apparently I’m not the only one who dislikes French country music.  A guy in a USA jersey walked up to the stage and asked them to play more AC/DC.  The band did not find it amusing.  Everyone else did.  They cheered for him.  This was the only time we ever heard Canadians cheering for Americans.

Once again, Canadian country music is our cue to exit.  But not before Jackie and Ashley insisted on taking a picture with the first Mountie we saw this entire trip.

After passing through security at Canada Hockey Place, two of the Olympic mascots — the good ones, which means Sumi was excluded — were setting up for a photo op.  I have a special frame reserved for this one…

Our last hockey game was a playoff game, and we didn’t know who would be playing in our game until the night before.  On paper, a Slovakia vs. Norway match-up isn’t that interesting.

But it turned out to be an exciting game.

It didn’t look that way early in the game when there was a devastating hit that knocked a Slovakian player unconscious and got the Norwegian culprit kicked out of the game.

The player remained motionless for a scary long time.  After he was carted off the ice on a stretcher, the crew had to scrape up a puddle of blood that formed underneath the Slovakian’s head.  (Fortunately, we later read that the player was okay and only suffered a concussion and head laceration.)

After that, things got interesting.  Slovakia looked poised to win, especially after jumping out to a 2-0 lead.  But with 0.1 seconds left in the second period, Norway tied the game at 3.  They weren’t even supposed to have a chance to win.

Everyone, of course, was pulling for the underdogs.  But Slovakia potted a goal late in the game and won 4-3.

Know how to say "goal" in French? BUT.

Norway giving Slovakia a run for their money wasn’t even the most surprising part of the game… it was the people we were sitting with.

The four people sitting behind us were Ducks fans.

The two people sitting next to them were Ducks fans.

And the two women sitting next to us were also Ducks fans.

But the strangest thing is that none of us knew each other!  What are the odds?

It’s hard enough to find other Ducks fans in Orange County… and we wind up sitting next to 8 of them in Vancouver.

I could understand sitting next to other Ducks fans at an Olympic game where at least one Ducks player was on the ice.  But there were no Ducks players on either team.  It was a completely random game.

Later in the game, we spotted two other Ducks fans in the next section and called them over to take a picture.  No one would believe us without photographic evidence of this serendipitous occasion.

The weather may have turned dark, but this was one of many bright spots on our trip.  What a way to end our trip to the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.  We can’t wait to visit again!

What’s the longest you’ve ever waited in line?  2 hours for a ride at a theme park?  3  hours for concert tickets?

How about SIX HOURS?

That’s how long we waited in line to touch the Olympic medals at the Royal Canadian Mint.

Six hours.  Of standing.  Moving up a foot or two every 15 minutes.  No benches.  For Six.  Hours.  A quarter of an entire day.  That’s saying a lot considering I sometimes sleep for two quarters of a day.

Luckily, we were standing with some pretty cool Canadian gentlemen who took the day off of work to see the medals as well.  So it made the six hours feel shorter.  Even though my legs kept locking up.  And I was developing a disturbing case of dry mouth from yapping more than Oprah.

The best part about talking with Canadians is that it gives Americans like us time to introspect.  We often feel like we can’t say anything negative about our country without being called unpatriotic or un-American.

Crossing the border to the north was like permission to vent.  We vented so much that Cameron said, “Wow, you guys have more complaints about American than we do!”

I think it just comes down to jealousy.  The city of Vancouver seems to have it all figured out.  As Cameron and Blake pointed out, sometimes they’re amazed that we’re still debating about things in America that they resolved years ago: gay marriage rights, leniency on recreational marijuana use, nationalized health care, etc.

They eat better.  They’re more fit.  They’re more green.  If they can just solve that pesky cold weather issue, I’d consider dual citizenship.

By the time we finally got inside the Mint, we had to wait another hour until our group could enter the room where the Olympic and Paralympic medals were kept.

Fortunately there was more to see and do inside.  We got to hold a real gold bar, see a giant million dollar coin — it’s so heavy it would take four people to steal it — and get a pin from a lady who was a stickler about people saying “please.”  This is Canada; I assumed everyone said “please” anyway.  Must have been the Americans.  (Kidding!  Or are we?)

If you read our post about what makes the Olympic medals so cool, you remember that they had an undulating design.  We were reminded of this no less than 10 times once inside.  It made us painfully aware that someone needs to invent more synonyms for “undulating.”  After a while it just sounds unnecessarily sexual.

Speaking of, I still can’t stop laughing about this.  Before we entered the room with the medals, a security guard gave us directions on how to handle the medals:

“Do not touch the medals with anything other than your gloved hand.” (They gave us a white glove to wear.)

“Do not make a victory sign with your hands next to the medals.”

“Do not put the medal in front of you and make it appear as if you have won a medal.”

“Do not lick, bite or kiss the medals.”

Then Blake asked aloud, “Can we still dry hump the medals?”

Our group of 20 or so people was given about 10 minutes to touch and take pictures with the medals.  Suddenly the six hour wait for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity seemed worth it.

Jackie stayed back because she was feeling ill, but Ashley and I quickly jotted from one medal the next, weighing them in our hands — they felt heavier than a pound — and snapping pictures.  10 minutes wasn’t enough, but we tried our best.

Before we were kicked out, a woman offered to take our picture standing next to a case featuring all three Olympic gold medals.

A few hours later, Ashley and I walked to LiveCity Yaletown to visit the Coca Cola Pavilion… and who do we see?

The same woman!  Her name was Veronika and she was with her husband Ken.  As soon as they recognized us, they literally pulled us into line with them.

The wait to get into the Coke House was about 90 minutes.  Ha!  After standing in a six-hour long line, anything less seems easy.  I’ll never complain about measly 90 minutes again.

We had a blast talking to Ken and Veronika and an even better time inside the Coke tent.  We drank our free bottle of Coke, received a limited edition Coke bottle that glows different colors, and played a Wii-like game where we put on gloves that looked like polar bear paws and guided our respective video game bears across water by paddling quickly — I haven’t had a work out like that since I quit P90X.

The best part was getting our photograph taken with an Olympic torch!  I’m not particularly fond of this picture.  Here’s another once-in-a-lifetime opportunity marred by unflattering appearance.

I’m sure you’re curious what the torch looks like in the hands of an ordinary person, so I’ll post it.  But I’m not happy about it.  I’ve been growing this double-chin like fatty pocket under my face — I call it the Gobble Gobbler — even though I’m of normal weight, and my neck pouch is totally accentuated in this photograph.  Avert your eyes to the torch instead.

There were a few other things to see and do inside LiveCity Yaletown besides listen to local bands on the main stage.  Vancouver House was closed.  The line to get into the Panasonic Pavilion which showcased a 3-D TV was too long.  No one cared about the Acer Pavilion.  And a brief tour through a tiny sustainable house called West House was lackluster.  So we said goodbye to Ken and Veronika — hopefully we’ll see them again soon! — and went back to the room to see how Jackie was doing.

A day of rest served her well and she was ready to check out the big lighting and pyrotechnic extravaganza taking place just outside in Robson Square called Ignite The Dream.  We heard the fireworks and cheers every night at 9:30 and 11 from our room, and we knew this was our last night to see it, so we had to go.

We’re obviously not gonna win an Academy Award for cinematography on this video, but at least you get to see the show from our perspective.

After the show ended, we waited about 20 minutes in line to buy some Olympic memorabilia at the Hudson’s Bay Company store downtown.

Even though I support my country, I consider myself an equal opportunist.  I bought a Russia hat and a Canada shirt, and I was already wearing my USA hockey scarf.  I must have looked like a confused Olympic mascot.

Before we went back to the room, we had to do two things…

First, get a Japadog.  I had been curious about the Japadog since before we left, but the line was always so long — almost a full city block — every time I looked out the window.  This time the line was about half as long, so I had to seize the opportunity.

It still took an hour.  Was it worth it?

Heck yeah!  A Japadog tastes like a combination of sushi and hotdog.  I know that sounds utterly disgusting, but in some mysterious way, the geniuses behind the Japadog defied food logic and made it work.

I wasn’t going to wait another hour to try other types of Japadogs the next day, so I ordered three:

Ume – raw red onion drenched in plum sauce draped over a bratwurst

Oroshi – a bratwurst covered in soy sauce, green onion and grated radish

Okonomi – a pork hotdog covered in a secret sauce, Japanese mayo, fried cabbage and bonito flakes (thin pieces of dried and smoked tuna)

Jackie tried the bratwurst stuffed with edamame (soy beans).

I loved it.  Jackie wasn’t a fan.  Ashley deemed the food cart untrustworthy.

The second thing we had to do was get a box of Smarties.  In America we have M&M’s.  In Canada they have Smarties.  They’re basically the same thing except the Smarties have a thicker and more flavorful candy shell.

I’m convinced that candy shell contains fruit flavoring.  But so far, I can’t convince anyone else in my party of such.  I swear I taste a faint orange taste when I eat the orange colored Smarties.

Even though the official Smarties website doesn’t explicitly say they have a fruit flavored shell, I looked around on the internet and found some people that agree with me.  I think we’re onto something.  Some kind of fruity conspiracy.  It’s not psychosomatic and, no, I didn’t mistakenly eat a box of Skittles instead.

It’s just a fact: purple should always taste like grape, yellow should always taste like lemon, and red should always taste like cherry… or strawberry… or red apple.

Canadian readers, we need you for a taste test.  Obtain a box of Smarties through legal or questionably ethical means, tell me the orange color tastes like orange, and keep me out of the psych ward.

I’m surprised we survived the walk back to our room with thousands of daggers sticking out of our backs that were shot out of the eyes of Canadians.

After the Team USA hockey team defeated Team Canada 5-3 in a game that the whole country shut down to watch, Canadians glared at us the entire way back to our room.

It was the longest 10 blocks we’ve ever had to walk.

The streets of Vancouver have been loud and lively since we arrived.  Not this night.

It was as silent as a graveyard.

Thousands of fans in Canada hockey jerseys walked aimlessly down streets like zombies.  As much as we wanted to cheer and wave our American flag proudly, we refrained.

Yet we still had to endure the death stare.  For a few hours after the game ended, Canadians looked at us as if the Team USA hockey logo was a swastika.  It felt wrong to wear such a thing in Canada where hockey is life, where anything other than a gold medal is considered a failure.

Now we know what Team Canada's hockey team feels like with the weight of the world on their shoulders.

That’s why we made our best attempt to conceal our grin and hide our USA paraphernalia under our nondescript coats.  But even a glimmer of red, white and blue was enough to warrant consternation.

As much as love our team, we feel a little guilty.  Hockey is Canada’s game.  Their fans are more passionate about hockey than any other country.  And disrupting their dream of gold feels like committing a crime.

But it’s not over yet.  USA may have won this game, but it’s only the preliminary round.  Canada still has a chance to win gold.

As long as both hockey teams win medals, we’ll be happy.

The competition is stiff, however.  Today was called Super Sunday in Canada.  It’s like Christmas and Super Bowl rolled in one.  The hockey schedule featured rematches of the last three gold medal games: Finland vs. Sweden, Russia vs. Czech Republic, and the obvious headliner, USA vs. Canada.

Every team has a legitimate chance to win gold.  And every game was huge.  So today was considered a wash since we spent most of it inside a sports bar watching the first two games on the line-up instead of exploring the city.

Rotating projected advertisement on the side of a building downtown.

We called G Sports Bar, voted best sports bar in Vancouver, early in the morning to get a table.  We got the very last one.

By the time we got there, we were relegated to a small table in the back room.  They must have known we were American.

For most of the Russia vs. Czech Republic game, it was just us.  The closer we got to game time, red jerseys and Canadian flags started to pour in.  Just before game time, we were surrounded by 200 or 300 die-hard Canada hockey fans.

And we were the only Americans.

Uncomfortable?  You betcha.

Fortunately, most of ‘em were pretty cool.  A talkative flight attendant named Stacey spent equal time talking to us as she did her own group.  A rowdy group of early twenty-somethings said, “I have respect for you guys.  You’re brave.”  And our waitress jokingly said she would check on us throughout the game.

We sat at a table decorated with 20-year old hockey cards featuring players from teams that don't even exist anymore like the Quebec Nordiques, Hartford Whalers and Winnipeg Jets.

Before the game started, it was all fun and games.  The rowdy group got a kick out of us shyly waving our American flag.  They even took a picture of us that I’m sure will wind up on the internet photoshopped with us with devil horns and a moustache.

The closer we got to the game, fun took a back seat to competition.

The chants of “Go Canada Go!” just before puck drop we’re deafening.  And the nervousness was so intense that we couldn’t stop drinking water to alleviate dry mouth.

Less than a minute into the game, USA silenced the crowd with a huge goal.  We cheered and waved our cowbells… until we realized the entire room was glaring at us.

When Canada responded to tie the game at one, the eruption of excitement rumbled through the walls and shook our table.  You would think by their celebration that everyone in the bar won the lottery.

But seconds later, the celebration turned to frustration as USA scored again.

The entire game was just like that.  Back and forth.  On pins and needles.  It was one of the most thrilling games we’ve ever been lucky enough to watch.

There was plenty to cheer about for both USA and Canada fans.  And for the most part, everyone was having a good time.  Even though we were nervous as hell.

A girl from the rowdy table would occasionally come by and playfully growl at me like a jungle cat.  She did, however, say she would come by and purr if Canada won the game.

When a scrum broke out on the ice and all the Canada fans jumped out of their seats hoping for a fight, our waitress ran by our table and said, “Don’t worry, that’s just on the ice.  That won’t happen to you.”

The last few minutes of the game were the most intense we’ve ever experienced.  After Canada scored to cut the USA lead to 4-3, it was a nonstop barrage of scoring opportunities for Canada.  Chairs were on the verge of breaking from fans jumping out of their seats and then plopping back down when US goalie Ryan Miller pulled off some spectacular saves.

When Vancouver Canucks player Ryan Kessler scored an empty net goal to salt the game, the bar deflated.  The rowdy group turned from fun to angry.  And honestly it felt a little dangerous.

We avoided celebration and quickly paid the bill.  We hoped to make it out of the bar quietly and safely, but as soon as our seats screeched across the wood floor and echoed through the room, a guy yelled “Hey!” in a not so pleasant tone.

Uh oh.

We turned to him, fearing the worst.

He smirked and playfully said, “Nobody beat them up on the way out.  They’re cool.”

The fun we had experienced before the game started was restored.  The room laughed and the frustration of a loss began to fade.

Before leaving the bar, another guy said, “You guys can have this one, but we’ll win gold.”

We might be okay with that.  As long as the US wins a medal too.

Imagine if New Year’s Eve wasn’t just one day, but 16 — unexpected bursts of cheering, people sneaking alcohol into water bottles, streets so crowded you can hardly move, random appearances by marching bands, sociable people striking up conversation with anyone and everyone, an electric excitement that keeps the city awake all hours of the night.  That’s what Vancouver is like during the Olympics.

Last night we were awakened by the sounds of people singing the Canadian national anthem.  This morning we were awakened by the same sound.

You can’t resist getting caught up in the Olympic spirit when you’re at the Olympics.  It’s addicting and thrilling and it makes you feel like you’re part of something historic.  On the flip side, Olympic spirit is bad for the wallet.

We feel like we need to buy everything with an Olympic logo on it to remind ourselves in the future that we were really there.  More irresponsible, however, is that each of us has chosen our favorite mascot and we can’t stop buying products that feature them.  A small can of authentic Canadian maple syrup brandished with the image of Quatchi seemed like it was worth $14 at the time.  Now I have buyer’s remorse… even though the bottle is adorable.

It kinda feels like being addicted to gambling except there’s no help line to stop us from spending money we don’t have.  Hopefully the landlord understands.

Know how far we walked down Robson Street in three hours?  3 blocks.  3 measly blocks.

Every other store was a souvenir store that contained a pin (I’ll never wear) or a luggage tag (I’ll never use)… but at the time I felt like I needed to have them to feel complete.  I keep telling myself “this is once-in-a-lifetime, buy every piece of memorabilia you can because it will vanish off the face of the earth and you’ll always regret not buying it!”

Truth is, most of this stuff will wind up on eBay for a fraction of the cost in a few weeks when I no longer care about finding that elusive Quatchi beanie or USA hockey pin.

We heard a place called London Drugs was selling Olympic paraphernalia for half price — which is still four times as expensive as it should be — so we darted over there and melded into the crowd of people ripping any item with the Olympic rings off the shelves.  I took a step back for a few moments to evaluate whether I really needed to buy kid-size Quatchi slippers I’ll never fit into — I determined yes — and noticed a guy wearing a German hockey jersey right next to me.

So I decided to say hi and tell him that we recently visited Germany and loved it.  We got to talking about his country and the Olympics and how his teams were doing.  I asked if he went to the Finland-Germany hockey game the previous night and he said, “Yes, but it was hard for me because I love my country, but I was rooting for Teemu Selanne and Saku Koivu. I’m a big Anaheim Ducks fan.”

Whaaa?  I took a quick glance above my eyebrows to see if I was wearing my Ducks hat, figuring he was just saying that to pander to me, like, “You poor Anaheim fan.  You have no fans so I’ll make you feel better by pretending I’m a fan too.”

Alas, I was not wearing any Ducks gear.  He was genuine.

The Ducks don’t have a substantial fan base back in Southern California because reality is most people don’t know what hockey is nor do we have many places to play it.  Hockey is a religion in Canada and many parts of Europe.  In Southern California, it’s a scheduling inconvenience in between Bon Jovi and Britney Spears concerts at Honda Center.

So I was more than surprised to find out that we not only had other serious Ducks fans attending the Olympics… but a Duck fan in Germany of all places.

His name was Daniel and he said he arrived in Canada a week prior to the Olympics just so he could travel to Edmonton and Calgary to watch the Ducks play.  He said that the last time he had seen a Ducks game live was 13 years ago when he visited Anaheim for a 4-game home stand for his graduation gift.  Back then, they were still the Disney-owned Mighty Ducks.

Since then he’s only been able to follow the Ducks by watching highlights on NHL.com.  Now that’s dedication.

Eventually we ended our conversation to continue shopping along Robson Street when two police officers blocked our path.  We thought we were in trouble because Jackie has been conspicuously walking around with a USA Hockey scarf that looks stolen.  It still has the security tag stuck to it because the guy at the sports store forgot to take it off, and every time we walk into a store the alarms go off.  One of these days I’ll yell “THIEF!” just to embarrass her.

Figuring the worst, Jackie was already preparing an excuse, conjuring lachrymose eyes, when the cop unexpectedly said:

“Did you buy those scarves to WIPE AWAY YOUR TEARS!?”

Yes, the Canadian cops are Canadian hockey fans.  And like most Canadian hockey fans, the cops figure Team Canada is going to wipe the floor with Team USA, so they couldn’t resist an easy jab.

The cops were playful and hilarious.  It’s becoming redundant to use the word “nice” and “Canadian” in the same sentence.  Their definitions intertwine.  So I’ll try to refrain from nice Canadian from now.  Just know it’s fact.

For about 10 minutes we talked about hockey, complementing each other’s teams and hoping for a good game.  They even said if Canada wins, they would give us a police escort back to our room.

Come nightfall, we made our way to the Olympic cauldron.

We may have been here for four days, but we really didn’t feel like we were at the Olympics until we finally saw the cauldron in all its glory.

The news has been making a big deal about how inaccessible the cauldron is thanks to a fence, but after seeing it in person, it just seems like the news is doing its usual thing by trying to find a negative story.  The world could be united by people holding hands and the news would ignore the world peace angle to focus on the transmission of germs instead.

Yes, there’s a fence, but it’s at a reasonable distance of about 100 feet, maybe a bit more.  And there’s an opening in the fence so people can take pictures of the cauldron unobstructed by chain link.  Plus, people are polite enough to snap a picture and move out of the way to give others a turn.

We were at the front in about 2 minutes, and we were so close that we could feel the heat emanating from the Olympic flame.

For dinner, we went to a place called The Keg.  It reminded us of a nicer BJ’s and the place was packed, so we knew it had to be good.

Some of the patrons were skinny women wearing authentic Canada hockey jerseys as dresses.

While waiting to be seated, an older gentleman started talking to me about his Olympic experience.  When he said, “I’m from Southern California,” I responded, “Me too.  I’m a Ducks fan.”

He laughed and said, “I’m a Kings fan.”

As much as we don’t like each other’s team, the rivalry doesn’t exist at the Olympics.  We’re united by our love of hockey and that’s what brought us to the Olympics.  Plus, both the Kings and Ducks have players on Team USA, so for two weeks we’ll be rooting for players we don’t usually want to see succeed.

After that, the rivalry resumes.

Just before leaving, I overheard a man say to another man, “Crazy out there, isn’t it?”

The other man responded, “I’ve lived here all my life… and I’ve never seen the city like this.”

Did you hear that sigh of relief?  That was us thankful that we survived another night beneath the dirty sheets of our crappy apartment.  For a while there we thought we’d be leaving with a rash.  Luckily, we left with only our baggage and a bad case of annoyance.

While waiting for the landlord lady, hereby known as Decepticon, to pick up the key, we went over to Boston Pizza for lunch.  We’re not sure if they have Boston Pizzas in the city of Boston — or anywhere in America for that matter — but we know they don’t have them in Southern California, because if they did, we would have sniffed it out a long time ago.

The food was good and our waiter was an entertaining guy.  At one point in our lengthy conversation, he slipped and called his home country “Canadia.”  Naturally, he blamed his error on Americans.  He said that the last time he visited the US, people kept calling Canada “Canadia” and eventually he convinced himself that that pronunciation was correct.

It’s official, a Canadian has given us permission to call his country “Canadia” from now on.  Score!  I’ve accidentally been doing that for years anyway.  It just rolls of the tongue so well.  Like Fantasia.  Or Utopia.

The guy said he had been on the news a few days prior because he and his friends have been walking around Robson Square wearing only one piece ski suits and he’s hoping the trend catches on.  We haven’t seen anybody in skin tight ski suits yet, but if anyone can pull it off, it’s these skinny Canadians.

After lunch, we dropped off the keys to the apartment, and went to the one place where we knew we could find free internet access… the Vancouver Public Library!

I am now the proud owner of a Vancouver Public Library card, which makes an awesome souvenir.  What’s really sad is that I don’t even have a library card for my hometown.

We were finally able to get you some updates before checking into our new apartment downtown.  Not only is our new place spectacularly nice and clean and modern, we’re only one block away from the heart of the action at Robson Square!  Even better?  A Japadog stand is right outside… and I can’t wait to try it!

We didn’t have too much time to enjoy our new place since we had a hockey game to get to at a night.  So went to Hamilton Street to pick up our tickets and stopped inside the Yahoo! Fancouver pavilion to grab a free cowbell and hot chocolate that tasted like somebody accidentally dropped a single M&M into luke warm bath water.  If we would have known that this place had free internet two days ago, we would have been so much better off.

People can stick pictures of themselves on the letters in the Yahoo! Fancouver headquarters.

We hopped on the SkyTrain and walked along the waterfront on our way to Canada Hockey Place for the Finland versus Germany hockey game.  The view of the pavilions from water’s edge was stunning, but we didn’t have much time to enjoy it just yet.

Sochi House

After passing through security, we talked to a fellow Ducks fan from Tustin as well as an older couple who were fans of the Canucks.  I love the way they started a conversation with us: “Are you really Ducks fans?”

It was hard for them to believe considering the Ducks don’t have a significant fan base — or at least nothing that compares the fan bases of Canadian teams — but they were really impressed that we drove all the way from California to attend the games.  We’re obtaining more street cred by the day.

The hockey game itself was fantastic.  Finland dominated in a 5-0 win and our favorite player, Teemu Selanne, got an assist to become the all-time highest scoring hockey player in Olympic history.

Even though the fans in the stands were from all different countries, they were all united by one thing… no, not their love of hockey… the wave!  By far the biggest and fastest wave we’ve ever had the fortune of being involved in.

Walking back to our apartment from the game was a blast.  The vibe in the city is amazing.  It’s like New Year’s Eve every second of every day.  People cheer and blow horns and dance in the streets.  There’s loud music on every corner.  And everyone is so sociable.

Two Canucks fans with painful memories of when the Ducks beat their team in the second round of the ’07 playoffs en route to a Stanley Cup were quick to strike up a conversation about how good our team was.

At first they thought we were Canadians who randomly chose the Ducks as their team — apparently some Canadians chose their teams based on pulling straws instead of rooting for the hometown — but when they found out we drove up for the Winter Games to support Ducks players, they said, “That’s awesome!  It’s great to have American hockey fans.  There needs to be more people like you.”

When we ran into a San Jose Sharks fan, a major rival of the Ducks, he said, “It’s cool.  It’s cool.  But just for now.  We’re not cool in the playoffs.”

Another guy ran past us chanting “Hiller!” — the name of the Ducks goaltender.

A different guy mocked us by chanting “Sharks! Sharks! Sharks!”

And one guy who saw us sporting our Ducks jerseys asked, “Anaheim?  That’s American.  Are you from America?”  When we said yes, he said “fair enough” and walked away.

We stopped into a 7-11 to pick up some goodies for the room and the woman in front of us in line asked if we were from California.  Every time we say yes to this question, people are always surprised, impressed and honored.  Our street cred cache keeps growing.

The 7-11 was decorated with cool looking “Go Canada!” car flags, and when we asked the clerk how we could get one, he gave one to each of us for free.  Perhaps he was trying to convert us.  Or maybe it was just another example of Canadian kindness.

Who cares?  We’re having a blast!  And so is this city.

We didn’t get much sleep last night.  I want to say it’s because we were so excited about going to today’s Team USA hockey game.  But really it’s because we feared contracting a flesh eating virus from the unsanitized apartment we stayed in.  When I did get a few snores in, I was dreaming about being enveloped in a cocoon coated with Purell.

There’s one good thing about our slop house: it’s only two blocks away from efficient public transportation… something we don’t have in Southern California.

Even better is that use of the SkyTrain is free if you have tickets to an Olympic event.  We missed a train as soon as we arrived at the station, but no less than a minute later, another one arrived.

View of downtown Vancouver from the Skytrain.

We squeezed into a train car full of people clad in Team Canada hockey jerseys, hats, scarves and anything else that a maple leaf can be stitched on to.  In less than five minutes, we were a short walk from Canada Hockey Place.

Stephen Colbert was filming an episode of his show right along the waterfront near Sochi House, the Russian Pavilion designed to promote the next Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, in 2014.  That date sounds too futuristic.  Hopefully we’ll have hover cars or teleportation by then.

Bands were warming up the large crowd surrounding the stage and cameramen were capturing the whole thing.  The crowd was boisterous and everyone sang along when an instrumental band from the Netherlands played songs like “We Are The Champions” and “Sweet Caroline.”

We wanted to stay and join in the fun, but we heard about long lines outside the arena, so we left without catching a glimpse of Stephen Colbert.

Turns out we could have stayed and watched.  By the time we got to the security checkpoint, there were about 20 lines, half of which were completely open.

Security is as strict as an airport, however.  Jackets, bags, purses, everything has to go through an X-ray machine, we had to walk through a metal detector, and I had to get my shoes inspected because metal set off the alarms.  Always causing problems.

Showing up at the game early gave us time to walk around the arena.  The coolest thing we saw was a wall with red LED lights in the shape of a Canadian flag.  We watched kids walk up to the wall and scream into a microphone where the sound waves would flick on the lights.  The louder the yell, the brighter the lights.

When we took our seats for the game, a friendly Canadian father and son introduced themselves as if we were new neighbors.  Coincidentally, the son was also an Anaheim Ducks fan.  When I asked how he became a fan, his dad joked, “Ah, there’s always been something wrong with him.”

We had a while to chat while the teams were warming up.  They told us about things to do at the Olympics and how this overwhelming Canadian patriotism didn’t arise until just a few days before the Games.

Everyone has been like that here… so hospitable and quick to share information and welcome us to their country.

The game itself wasn’t as exciting as it should have been.  Looking at the box score, you’d think a 6-1 win by the US over Norway would have been a blast.  But most of the goals came early and late in the game.

When Norway was actually giving the US a run for their money in the second period, chants of “Let’s Go Norway” echoed through the arena.

We were confused at first because there only a few sporadic Norwegian flag.  Then the father and son leaned over and laughed, “Those are all the Canadian fans.”

The arena was filled with more people in Canada gear than US and Norway combined.  And since the USA and Canada obviously have a healthy rivalry, all the Canadian fans wanted to pull for Norway.

Their support worked.  Norway was tough competition, and when they scored their lone goal, the arena erupted.  Canadians sprung out of their seats and cheered on Norway partially because they like rooting for the underdog and partially because it was enjoyable to watch a lesser team exploit a weakness in a strong US team.

To counteract the Canadian support for Norway, people dressed as Captain America, President Lincoln and Lady Liberty would try to start chants of “U-S-A!”

After the game, we went to a drug store near our apartment because we heard they had a lot of Olympic merchandise.  Unfortunately, all of the gear had been shipped downtown.  But we spent some time talking to a friendly clerk who basically abandoned her job for a solid 15 minutes to tell us about the city and ask about our road trip.

While I was finishing my conversation with her, a lady walking out of the store stopped to talk to Ashley and Jackie.  She said she was a bus driver for the Olympics and she was one of the people driving the buses brought up from California.  We had seen a few of the buses earlier — they still have California plates.

We love how sociable Canadians are.  It’s not like in America where we adopt the “mind your own business” mentality.  Canadians love to strike up conversation with just about anyone, especially tourists.  And it always goes like this: “Hey!  Are you American?  How do you like our city?  Isn’t this weather great?”

We were craving Tim Hortons again, so we ate soup and sandwiches and took a box of doughnuts back to the apartment to watch men’s figure skating and the too-close-for-comfort Canada vs. Switzerland game (Canada edged the Swiss in a shootout).

The suburb we stayed in gets quiet around 10pm, but there was a small but trendy Chinese restaurant down the street that was packed with people.  The food was cheap, hot and good… the food eatery trifecta in my opinion.

The restaurant said it stayed open until 1am, but they started turning people away just after midnight.  We noticed that the expression “last call” means two different things between our countries: in America, “last call” means “hurry up and get more drinks before the bar closes”… but in Canada, “last call” means “were already done serving but thanks for stopping by.”

Then it was back to the dust bowl we call our room.  Tomorrow we’ll dive into a pool of disinfectant and move on to a better (and hopefully much cleaner) apartment closer to the action downtown.

So… we didn’t get lost on the way to the Great White North (thank you, inventor of GPS).  We didn’t get detained at the border.  And, no, we weren’t asked to replace the losing Team USA Curling team.

Instead, we’ve been without Internet access after being deceived by a very un-Canadian woman.  Here’s what happened…

Everything at the Olympics is exorbitantly priced, especially the accommodations.  Most hotels were sold out years in advance, so people like us had to resort to Craigslist to find an apartment rental.  (Yes, there’s more to Craigslist than just the “casual encounters” section.)

Originally we were scheduled to arrive in Vancouver on the 19th, but at the last minute, we changed plans to arrive in Canada two days earlier in order to attend a Team USA hockey game and experience more of the city during the Olympics.  So we needed a place for two nights.

We ended up finding this place a few miles outside of downtown that was reasonably priced and was described as including internet and parking and all the furnishings you’d expect from a hotel.

The listing said the room included internet.  It didn’t.  So she told us to bum off an unlocked signal from someone in the building.  Even if we wanted to (which we didn’t), they were all locked.

Then we found out we didn’t have a reserved parking spot, rather we had to park in a 2-hour zone that supposedly isn’t checked by parking enforcement.  Next morning, we saw tickets on cars and security patrolling the neighborhood.  Luckily we escaped.

When we entered the barely furnished room (broken futon, old TV with sound that drops out, Ikea lamp in the corner), it appeared as if a garage band had just vacated.  The floor was dirty, half the lights didn’t work, and the sheets didn’t look or smell particularly clean.

The landlord even said she was working her normal full-time job plus bartending at a pavilion downtown for the Olympics so she didn’t have time to fully prepare the room.

I want to paint a nicer picture because the apartment itself is pretty cool: wood floors, great view from the tenth floor, massive windows, plenty of space.  Had this apartment been well cared for, it would be a great place.

Anyway, long story short, that’s why we’ve been M.I.A.  Because, even though we scoured Craigslist to find accommodations with Internet, and even double-checked with the landlord prior to arriving, she deceived us.  As it is now, we’re posting this from a Vancouver Public Library.

Outside of the room debacle, everything in Canada has been absolutely wonderful.

We’re not used to this kind of attention and overt niceness.

We somewhat expected treatment akin to what a Red Sox fan would receive in New York.  USA versus Canada is a big rivalry, but it doesn’t feel that way… Canadians are actually playful about it.  In fact, they even seemed impressed that three Californians would drive that far to attend the Olympics.  It’s as if they feel honored that we’re visiting their country.

The Canadian sense of humor and hospitality emerged from the moment we crossed the border and didn’t let up during our first day in Canada.

After passing through the border patrol, we stopped at the British Columbia Visitors Center.  When they saw us brandishing our Anaheim Ducks gear, half the staff flocked to us and asked us about trip and what we planned to do at the Olympics.

We then took a few pictures at the Peace Arch and had to walk past security again.  After taking a few steps, a guard approached us and said, “Did they give you a hard time back there?”

“No, not at all, they were very nice.”

“Oh.  Because he just radioed me and said ‘get ‘em, they’re Ducks’.”

As big hockey fans, we often watch out-of-market feeds on Center Ice, and we always see commercials for a Canadian fast food chain called Tim Hortons.  I couldn’t wait to try it, so we rushed over to one of their eateries after tossing our bags into our room.

Here’s the great thing about Tim Hortons: when you order a sandwich, you choose a side dish of either soup, salad… or doughnut?  As a doughnut man myself, I couldn’t wait to get my mouth on a “Canada doughnut”– a regular doughnut with a sugar frosting and tiny red maple leaf candies sprinkled on top.

When we were done eating, a man and his wife sitting nearby us asked if we had traveled from Anaheim to the Games.  We wound up talking to this nice couple for 20 minutes about hockey, what to do at the Games, where to eat, things to buy, and why America is too stubborn to adopt the metric system like the rest of the world.  He even joked that when he and his wife travel to L.A., they often get asked, “Do you have Eskimos up in Vancouver?”

At one point he asked if we thought Canadians were arrogant.  We were totally confused by this question, but he said he heard a lot of complaints in the news from foreigners saying that all the Canadian imagery around town and the pro-Canada attitude reeked of cockiness.

Not at all!  It’s been great to see people walking around with Canada gear and all the Canada flags on cars and in windows.  The people of Canada are proud and we love that they express their pride.  It’s refreshing to see people support their country without adopting an attitude of superiority.

They don’t act like their country is better than the rest.  They don’t criticize fellow Canadians for being unpatriotic if they support non-Canadian athletes.  They don’t get offended when outsiders come into their country to support another nation.

In fact, they respect such enthusiasm and such pride.  They openly welcome it.

When we went to a mall called Metrotown to buy those insanely popular red mittens, which are incredibly hard to find by the way, we ventured into the Nike Store to buy some USA paraphernalia.

Again, much of the staff flocked to us, excited to talk hockey, impressed that we drove all the way from California to see the Winter Games.  They also said they often get asked if there are Eskimos in Vancouver.  “Eskimos?” one man said, “We don’t have Eskimos!  We don’t even have snow!  We have rain!”  Again, we ended up talking for a solid 20 minutes before heading over to ring up our purchases.

At the store counter, we saw these bags that were only being given away to people who made purchases of $150 or more, and even though we didn’t spend nearly that much, they still gave all three of us bags and wished us a great time at the Games.

Sure, they jostled us about supporting USA hockey in Canada.  But it was all in good fun.  They said we were the kind of people they would want to go to a bar with and watch a game.

They even joked that I now had credibility because I bought a t-shirt with the Canada logo.  I was looking for a double-XL shirt (hey, I’m 6’4″) and the guys started joking about how it must be shocking for us to go from massive hamburgers in the US to paper thin burgers in Canada.  They said everyone is so skinny in Vancouver because everyone eats green, so they don’t make shirt sizes larger than XL.

And randomly, we ran into a Kings fan in the Nike store.  We were all buying U.S. scarves and shirts, and when I mentioned to him that it looked like his team was going to make the playoffs instead of the Ducks, he said, “doesn’t that sound so freakin’ weird?”

As we walked through the mall, we found that every other store was packed with pro-Canada shirts, scarves, toys, hats… anything you can put a maple leaf on.  People walked through the halls in Canada hockey jerseys, sweatshirts, beanies.  Some people had their faces painted with a red maple leaf.

Golden ice skate at Swavorski inside Metrotown.

Every sports store had turned into an Olympic wardrobe warehouse.  The largest sections contained everything Canada, but there was still a significant amount of stuff from Russia, USA, Sweden, Finland and the Czech Republic.

In one particular sports store that featured mainly hockey collectibles, we noticed a gold Anaheim Ducks Christmas tree ornament.  When the guy at the counter saw that we were wearing Ducks hats, he gave it to us for free.  He said he had been trying to get rid of it for a while and the staff agreed that whenever they saw a Ducks fan, they would give it to them.  Sadly, that ornament had been sitting on the store’s counter since Christmas of 2008!

Last order of business for the day was trying to collect all eight Olympic mascot toys offered in McDonald’s Happy Meals.

The first place we went to only had the bobsledders.  But when we went to a second McDonald’s, we struck gold!

Initially the lady behind the counter said she only had a small assortment, but when we told her about our journey, she graciously clawed through boxes to see if she could find something different.

And what did she find?  The last four hockey toys in the entire store!  It was like winning the lottery.  We thought we’d never get our hands on those, especially in hockey-mad Canada.  I’m convinced they are the last ones in all of Canada.

Now we each have half of the entire set and we haven’t even been downtown yet.  Hopefully we can catch ‘em all before we go home.

Admittedly, we feel apprehensive about going downtown.  We blew a hefty sum of money on Olympic paraphernalia within the first few hours of being in Vancouver.  We’ll probably be paying off our credit card bill until the next time Vancouver hosts the Olympics.  Then we’ll be ready to do it all over again.

Here are some interesting facts about the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver…

A record number of countries will be represented: 82. This includes the Winter Olympic debuts of the Cayman Islands, Colombia, Ghana, Montenegro, Pakistan, Peru and Serbia.

Vancouver will be the warmest city to ever host the Winter Olympics. Winters in Vancouver usually don’t drop below freezing, averaging 41°F in February.  Check out this video about weather during the Olympic period.

Vancouver LOST in the first round of bidding. The three finalists to host the 2010 Winter Olympics were Salzburg, Austria, Pyeongchang, South Korea, and Vancouver.  Pyeongchang won the opening round of bidding with 51 votes compared to Vancouver’s 40.  Salzburg was eliminated, and in the second and final round of voting, Vancouver pulled out a narrow victory over Pyeongchang 56-53.  To add insult to injury, Pyeongchang actually won the first round of bidding for the 2014 Olympics, but AGAIN lost in the second round by a narrow margin to Sochi, Russia.

The Opening and Closing Ceremonies will be held at Canada’s first domed arena, BC Place. This will mark the first time that any Olympics — Winter or Summer — has held these ceremonies indoors.

Vancouver will be the most populous city ever to hold a Winter Olympics. With over 2.1 million people in the Vancouver metro area, it’s the third largest city in Canada behind Toronto and Montreal.

Since the National Hockey League began allowing its players to participate in the Winter Olympics, no city with an NHL team has ever hosted the Games… until now. Most of the men’s hockey games will take place at GM Place (tentatively renamed Canada Hockey Place), which is normally the home of the Vancouver Canucks.

The 2010 Winter Games will also mark the first time that Olympic hockey matches will be held on an NHL-sized rink instead of an international rink.  Both rinks are identical in length, but an NHL rink is 13.5 feet narrower.

The torch relay route will be the longest within one country in Olympic history. The Olympic flame will travel approximately 28,000 miles over 106 days within Canada before arriving at BC Place for the Opening Ceremony.  By comparison, the torch relay when Canada last hosted the Olympics in 1988 spanned only 11,200 miles… and that still stands as one of the longest routes in history.

Speaking of the Olympic flame, the 2010 Winter Games will mark the first time in history that the Olympic cauldron will be lit indoors.

The Winter Olympics differ from the Summer Olympics when it comes to nomenclature and numbering:

a.) The Winter Olympics are only numbered when they are actually held whereas the Summer Olympics are numbered consecutively whether they are held or not.  So when the 1940 and 1944 Games were cancelled due to World War II, the Summer Games maintained its consecutive numbering whereas the Winter Games weren’t counted.

b.) The Winter Games are not actually considered an Olympiad; they are only referred to as “Games.”  The Summer Games are referred to as “The Games of the 28th Olympiad” whereas the Winter Games are referred to as “The 21st Olympic Winter Games.”

Today, Canada is synonymous with winter sports.  Our maple syrup-loving neighbors to the north are 5-to-1 odds to win the medal count at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.  They’re the favorites in hockey and curling – both men’s and women’s.  But things were different when Canada last hosted the Winter Olympics in Calgary in 1988.

In fact, when Canada last hosted the Winter Games…

1. Canada didn’t win a single gold medal on home soil… for the second time! That’s right, Canada has NEVER won a gold medal on home soil.  Our neighbors to the north have hosted the Olympics twice: the Summer Games in Montreal in 1976 and the Winter Games in Calgary in 1988.  Both times, they failed to bring home a gold.  That makes Canada only the second country to not win gold on home soil in the Winter Olympics.  The first time it happened was at the previous Winter Games in Yugoslavia in 1984.

2.  Canada ranked 12th in the overall medal count with only 5 medals: 2 silver and 3 bronze. By comparison, at the 2006 Games in Torino, Canada ranked 5th with 24 medals:  7 gold, 10 silver and 7 bronze.

Not yours, Canada.

3.  The Winter Games were extended to 16 days for the first time. That’s been the norm ever since.

4.  The Soviet Union and East Germany were still countries. By the next Winter Games, these communist nations didn’t exist.  East Germany reunited with West Germany in 1990 and the Soviet Union became the Russian Federation in 1991.

The Soviet Union and East Germany dominated.  The sickle and hammer countries chiseled their athletic superiority into the history books by winning the most medals far and away.  The USSR won 29 medals (including gold in Canada’s sport, hockey) while the GDR won 25.  Their closest competitor was Switzerland with only 13 medals.

5. The Torch Relay was one of the longest in Olympic history. It spanned over 11,200 miles in 88 days.

6.  A record number of nations were represented:  57. In 2006, 80 countries were represented.

7.  Curling wasn’t a sport. Canada’s a favorite at the 2010 Winter Olympics, but in 1988 curling was only a demonstration sport.  It didn’t become an official Olympic sport until 1998.

8.  It was the first Winter Games for countries we usually don’t associate with winter sports: Guam, Guatemala, Fiji, Netherlands Antilles and everybody’s favorite fish-out-of-water, Jamaica.

9. The Jamaican Bobsled team debuted. Yes, “Cool Runnings,” the feel-good family-comedy of 1993, really did happen.  The movie fictionalized most of what really happened, but it’s true that the team crashed and then famously walked to the finish line with the bobsled raised above their shoulders.

The Jamaican Bobsled team still isn’t very good — the highest they ever finished in an international competition was 14th — but who doesn’t love to root for the underdog?  The team didn’t qualify for the 2006 Winter Games, and they were hoping to return to Canada where it all began… but they failed to qualify again.  All those people who bought tickets to the Jamaican Bobsled Party House must be pissed.

10. Eddie “The Eagle” Edwards became a celebrity… for finishing last… twice. Edwards wasn’t just Great Britain’s lone competitor in ski jumping, he was also their first.  Even though he was the best in England, he was the worst on the world stage.  “The Eagle” came in dead last in both the 70m and 90m events.

But Eddie’s lack of talent led to great success.  He made more money through endorsements and gained more international notoriety than any medal-winning ski jumper.  “The Eagle” not only appeared on The Johnny Carson Show, he was also the first athlete in Olympic history to be mentioned in the closing ceremony.

Embarrassed by the celebration of failure, the IOC changed the entry requirements soon after the ’88 Games.  Called “The Eddie ‘The Eagle’ Rule,” it ensures that only the top competitors in ski jumping are admitted to the Olympics so that unworthy athletes can no longer profit from epic failures.  With the new rules in place, Edwards failed to qualify for the following three Olympics.

But this is an inspiring tale.  It gives us hope.  Hope that if guys like Eddie Edwards can suck so bad at ski jumping and William Hung can suck so bad at singing, but still become rich and famous, so can we!

A memorable Olympic mascot represents the history, the ideals and the culture of the host nation in an entertaining and informative way. Remember the mascots from the 2006 Winter Olympics in Tornio?

Probably not. They had no persona. They were pointless. Neve and Gliz were simply two people who had a snowball and an ice cube for a head. Yet somehow they were supposed to represent the “passion, enthusiasm, culture, elegance and love of the environment and of sport” according to the IOC. Riiiiight. A meatball on skis would have made more sense.

This year, the team behind creating the mascots for the 2010 Olympic Winter Games in Vancouver did a much better job of incorporating mythology from British Columbia into a fun story to create memorable characters.

Here’s a rundown of what they came up with…

Miga

The aboriginal people of the First Nations in the Pacific Northwest believed that orca whales that arrived on land would evolve into a Kermode bear, a rare white bear that is exclusive to British Columbia.

Miga the Sea Bear was created to breathe life into that legend. She is an amalgam of bear and whale — notice the bear feet and orca fin on her head — who lives with her family pod off the coast of Vancouver Island. Miga represents the action, adventure and energy of Olympic sports.

Quatchi

The legend of the Sasquatch still lives in the mysterious and unexplored forests of British Columbia. Although the Sasquatch is believed to be a frightening and hulking creature, Quatchi is actually gentle and shy.

Our favorite part of his story is that he wants to be a hockey goalie because of his massive size. Makes sense. We’re waiting for the day when a hockey team slaps some skates on a big fat guy and plants him in front of the net.

Sumi

According to folklore of the First Nations, the thunderbird was a supernatural creature that created thunder by flapping its wings. Sumi, named after the word for “animal spirit” in the Salish (Pacific Northwest) language, features the wings of a thunderbird and the legs of a black bear.

Sumi will be the main mascot for the Paralympic Games from his home in Whistler, a resort town two hours north of downtown Vancouver where the alpine, nordic and sliding events will take place.

Mukmuk

Mukmuk is a friendly marmot named after the Chinook word for “food” because he loves to eat. Here’s the interesting thing about this furball: he’s not officially a mascot. He’s considered an honorary mascot, which would make him the first sidekick in Olympic history.

Very little is known about Mukmuk, and supposedly he’ll only make rare, surprise appearances throughout the Games.

You can learn more about Miga, Quatchi and Sumi on the official Vancouver Olympics site.