One of the best things about traveling is tasting authentic foreign cuisine.  And there’s no better place to broaden your gastronomic horizons than France.  Here’s a list of what to eat in France:

Breakfast In France

It’s only slightly healthier than a doughnut, but a croissant is a great way to start the morning.  Or get your sweet fix with a baguette topped with smeared jams or Nutella (a chocolate-hazelnut spread that is to the Europeans what peanut butter is to Americans).

Lunch In France

Parisian sandwiches will leave you wondering why we’re stuck with mediocre sandwich joints like Subway and Quiznos.  The most famous French sandwich is the croque monsoir.  It’s a grilled ham and cheese sandwich with the meat on the inside and melted, chewy cheese on top of the bread.  There’s also an alternate version called the croque madame, which has a fried egg on top.  Sandwiches are usually served with pomme frites, which sounds way more elegant than “French fries.”

Pâté is a mixture of ground liver and fat that’s cut into blocks and spread onto a piece of bread.  Doesn’t that make butter sound healthy?

French onion soup is perfect on a cold day.  Onions are stewed in a beef broth for hours, then get topped with croutons and a golden layer of melting cheese.

A quiche is basically an egg, cheese and meat (or vegetable) pie.

The running theme here is:  tastier means fattier.

Snacks In France

Who needs a pretzel when you can have a crêpe?  Crêpes come in two varieties: sweet or savory.  A sweet crêpe are filled with fruit spreads or a chocolate sauce like Nutella, then sprinkled with powdered sugar.  Savory crêpes are kind of like sandwiches; they can be filled with just cheese or cheese and sliced meat.

A baguette and cheese is one of the staples in France.  Baguettes are always soft and chewy on the inside with a crispy crunch on the outside.  The most common cheese you’ll find in France is either brie or camembert, both of which are soft and creamy.

Dinner In France

Frog’s legs and escargot are two traditional French delicacies that aren’t as gross as they sound.  Both foods are cooked in a buttery garlic sauce that overwhelms the flavor of the meat and softens the texture.  Read about our first time with escargot here.

Foie gras is the enlarged liver of a duck that’s been fattened due to force feeding.  The liver is then sliced like a pâté and pan fried to create a crispy exterior, or just served cold and spread onto bread.  Foie gras has such a high fat content that not even an entire walk around Paris would not burn off the calories.

Duck confit is the cured leg of duck that’s slowly poached in a vat of its own fat.

Ratatouille is a stew of vegetables such as onions, zucchini, bell peppers and eggplant, made famous (at least outside of France) by the Pixar movie of the same name.

If you like cioppino, you’ll like bouillabaisse.  It’s a traditional stew containing fish and shellfish, and flavored with herbs.

My favorite thing to eat in Paris was beef bourguignon, a stew of beef braised in red wine, usually served with roasted or mashed potatoes.  The meat is juicy and tender and the broth is thick and rich.  It’s a dish that’ll keep you stuffed for hours.  Our favorite place to get beef bourguignon was at Polidor.

Coq au vin is basically the same thing with chicken — it’s chicken stewed with wine and vegetables.

Raw beef is shockingly popular in France.  We often saw people eating steak tartare, which is raw ground beef served with a raw egg and steak sauce.  We tried the less threatening beef carpaccio, which is raw beef sliced paper thin and served with cheese.  It tasted like a cold steak, but it was hard to enjoy because all I kept thinking about was e. coli.

Desserts In France

A tart is a fruit pie without all the junky filling.  It’s a soft, flaky crust filled with sliced fruits, topped with glazed or powdered sugar.

Éclairs make my arteries say “no” but my mouth say “yes!”  They look like long doughnuts filled with cream and topped with chocolate icing.

Mousse is a dessert that looks light and fluffy and airy, but once you put a spoonful in your mouth, you realize how dense all that egg, cream and sugar really is.

Soufflé is a lot like mousse: its looks are deceiving.  Soufflé is mixture of custard and egg whites that’s cooked in a container the size of a cupcake.  The finished product explodes out of the cup, creating an airy and fluffy cake.

A madeleine is a light and sweet pound cake in the shape of a shell.

Dining In France

Dining in France isn’t like dining in the U.S.  Restaurants in America want you to eat your meal before you get too comfortable and get out as quickly as possible.  It’s the opposite in France.  Meals can last hours and waiters generally won’t return to your table after your food arrives.  They’re not being rude or ignoring you. They give you privacy because they think it’s rude to interrupt your meal.  When you need the waiter, it’s your duty to signal him.

Where To Eat In France

Eating establishments in France fall into four categories with each one being more expensive than the last.  The bottom rung of the eating ladder belongs to the cafe.  Cheap and quick, it’s the best place to grab a soup or sandwich.  Brasseries are a little fancier than cafes and most are open 24 hours.  They serve snacks and meals that are similar to American bar food.  Bistros are the next step up.  The food is moderately priced and the meals are generally traditional foods like stews and slow cooked meats. 

Restaurants are the most expensive options.  They tend to serve higher-class food in an elegant setting.  Expect the full dining experience in a restaurant:  fine food (that means small portions), plenty of wine (that means an expensive bottle) and niceties like table-side service, musicians, and a coat room (that means more people you have to tip).

What happens when you can’t find an eatery that’s open?  Find out here.

If there’s one thing we wish we knew before going to Paris, it’s this:  you can’t see everything.

You can’t get upset about it.  You can’t try to rush it.  You just have to accept it and enjoy the time you have.

We spent a full week in Paris and it wasn’t nearly enough time.  Sure, we caught the major highlights.  But we still missed the Musée d’Orsay, Versailles, the Catacombs, and countless other sights (and chocolate shops) that were on our checklist.

In a strange way, that’s actually a good thing.  Once you’ve seen the touristy side of this vast metropolis, you’ll want to return and delve below the skin of Paris to see what makes it live and breathe.

Now, some travel guides insist you can see everything we saw in less time.  Maybe if the day was 40 hours long.  Maybe if all the major attractions were in a row right next to each other.  Maybe if you only care about being able to say you’ve “been there” versus actually taking the time to experience each attraction.

But to truly appreciate Paris, you need to take your time.  Savor the experience.  Don’t jump from one sight to the next.  Calm down and take it in.  You won’t see everything in one trip.  And that’s okay.  Paris will be there when you return.

The coffee in France probably isn’t what you’re used to. Instead of uber-grande, 40-ounce cups of Joe that barely have enough caffeine to keep you buzzed until your lunch break, the coffee in France is very strong… and very small.

A regular cup of coffee, called simply a café, is a plain coffee that’s just as potent as a shot of espresso. Hence, it’s served in a really tiny cup that looks like it was stolen from a little girl’s tea set.

For a typical, American-style coffee that’s served in a cup larger than a thimble, you need to order a café Americain.

Despite what you may have heard, the coffee in Paris isn’t anything to write home about. Parisians are good at cafés, but not great at actual coffee.

However, if you’re going to have coffee while dining in Paris, make sure to order it after your meal. The French don’t look too kindly upon people who drink coffee before or during their meal, even if it’s with dessert.

Paris’ 5th arrondissement, on the left bank, is commonly known as the “Latin Quarter.” But the name is a little deceiving. You won’t find Latin dancers performing the samba in the Latin Quarter. You won’t find restaurants serving Latin food. You won’t even find many Latin people. Instead, you’ll find a young, lively district filled with bistros, nightclubs and bookshops.

The district became known as the Latin Quarter back in the Middle Ages when universities taught students using only the Latin language. Today, the area is still teeming with college students, but they no longer only speak Latin.

Regardless of what language you speak, a walk through the Latin Quarter can be one of the most enjoyable in Paris (as long as you don’t mind small spaces and heavy crowds). Here are the highlights:

Place Saint-Michel

This square is a big draw for 2 reasons:

1.) The St. Michel Fountain, depicting the Archangel Saint Michael striking his best superhero pose while the dragons flanking him gargle water.

2.) The names of French citizens who died fighting Nazis in this area are etched on numerous plaques around the square.

Rue du Chat-qui-Peche

Only 6 feet wide and 95 feet long, this is allegedly the narrowest street in the world. But really it just looks like an alley without bums.

Shakespeare And Company Bookstore
http://shakespeareandcompany.com/

Equal parts bookstore and library, this building packed with rooms stacked floor to ceiling with books. The vast majority of the books are in English, and some are so old and rare you can’t even take them off the shelf. Each room can only fit about two people, and usually they’re occupied by aspiring writers who literally live there. The store houses writers, known as “tumbleweeds,” for free as long as they work on their material and help out around the store.

Saint Séverin
http://www.saint-severin.com/

The Saint-Severin church is basically a lesser quality version of the Notre Dame, but it’s just as old and just as Gothic as its more famous counterpart. Our visit to the church was cut dramatically short when we entered and noticed a funeral taking place. The coffin was so small that it likely belonged to a child.

Musée de Cluny
http://www.musee-moyenage.fr/ang/index.html

The National Museum of the Middle Ages is known for its collection of medieval arts and crafts. The most famous attractions are The Lady And The Unicorn Tapestries and the 2,000-year old remains of ancient Roman Baths.

Sorbonne
http://www.univ-paris4.fr/en/

I may have gone to class more often if my school looked as cool as the buildings of the Sorbonne University. If you want to experience the life of a Parisian college student cutting class, you can visit the courtyard and galleries when the university is in session.

Panthéon

This neoclassical monument is one of the most famous burial places in France. It’s the final resting place of some of France’s most well-known authors, such as Voltaire, Alexandre Dumas and Victor Hugo.

Pantheon and Sorbonne images courtesy of Wikipedia

We’re not sure if the French have what Americans consider “soul food.”  But if they did, Crémerie-Restaurant Polidor, in the 6th arrondissement on the Left Bank, would be the place to get it.

It’s a small, old-fashioned, homely little place serving food that feels like it came straight out of a French mom’s kitchen.  Instead of fried chicken and mac-and-cheese, there’s beef bourguignon and mashed potatoes.

The food was hearty and flavorful and it just felt good to eat.  It’s kind of like eating chicken noodle soup on a cold day.  It’s a cozy feeling that warms your entire body.  (If only Campbell’s could somehow put beef bourguignon in a can.)

People don’t just come to Polidor because it’s a near perfect restaurant.  No, they also come for the bathroom.  A bathroom so unfathomable, it can only be described as… an experience.

To get to the bathroom, you have to squeeze through long, communal tables and walk outside into a dark atrium.  There’s a wall with swinging wooden doors like a Wild West saloon.  And once you pass through the doors, you come to a dead stop.  Inside is one of the smallest, most confusing stalls you can imagine.

It’s like a coffin with lovable powder blue tiles.  There’s virtually no room, and if you’re over 5’6″, you have to duck to fit inside.  There’s barely any room to breathe let alone go potty.

This bathroom is like a game at the fair.  You put your feet in the designated foot holders and aim for a hole that will severely test your accuracy.  If you can somehow manage to urinate in the hole from beginning to end, you deserve some kind of prize.  And if you can escape without spraying all over your shoes, you deserve instant access to heaven because you’re a living miracle.

If it wasn’t already hard enough to hit the target, take a peek over your shoulder.  The wooden doors practically expose everything.  And the atrium has a direct view into the restaurant.  So while you’re peeing, there are people in the restaurant watching you.  Judging you.  Evaluating your progress with score cards.  (Not really, but it feels like it.)

And if you’ve gotta take a #2… don’t even think about it.  The lone toilet is in a room with only three walls, again with an open view into the atrium.  There’s no lock.  And worst of all, you have pass through this room to even get to the stall outside.  So unless you like people walking in and out of the bathroom, looking at you while you’re taking a #2 on a cold winter night, it’s best to hold it in.

Crémerie-Restaurant Polidor
http://www.polidor.com/
41 rue Monsieur-le-Prince
+33 1 43 26 95 34
Metro: Odéon

Chartier has been serving traditional French food in Paris since 1896.  And when I say traditional, I’m talking about all the things that you might be afraid to eat:  tripe, tongue, brains… all the gross-sounding left over parts.

But if you’re gonna get an authentic taste of the country you’re visiting, you’ve gotta step outside of your comfort zone and try something a little unusual.  In the end, it might be worth the risk.

The risk we took was trying escargot.  Snails might not sound like such a big deal, but to us, it was.  We see snails slithering down the sidewalk every day.  And the idea of eating a slimy, rubbery gastropod wasn’t appetizing.

When the waiter first placed the tray of escargot on the table, I was nervous and confused.  It was like “the first time” all over again.  I had these tools but I didn’t know how to use them properly.  There was some kind of clamping device that looked like those things women use to put on mascara.  And there was this tiny two-pronged device that looked like an evil instrument my dentist would wield.

It was intimidating.  But thank goodness for communal dining.  Our friendly neighbors, despite their limited English vocabulary, showed us how to pick up the snail shell and extract the meat.

We couldn’t delay any longer.  The snail was on the fork.  Our neighbors were looking at us.  We were in the spotlight.  Time to go for it…

And… It was delicious.  The snail itself was soft and slightly chewy.  But all I could really taste was garlic and butter.  You could put garlic and butter on piece of lint and I’d think it was delicious.

Our daring adventure ended there.  We went with a plain burger and a rump steak with a peppery-cream sauce for our meals.

File this under the “you learn something new everyday” category:  the French consider cheese a dessert.  I consider it an easy dinner when I’m too lazy to cook, but apparently cheese aids in digestion and that’s why it’s eaten last.

Restaurant-Chartier
http://www.restaurant-chartier.com/www/visit/filsdesans.php
7 rue du Faubourg Montmartre
+33 1 47 70 86 29
Metro: Grands Boulevards

Modern art is, for lack of a better phrase, “really freakin’ weird.”  So it makes sense that Paris’ modern art museum, Centre Pompidou, would be just as strange on the outside as it is on the inside.

The building looks like it was flipped inside out, with a maze of pipes from the plumbing and ventilation systems twisting and winding on the exterior (let’s hope a pipe doesn’t burst).  Scaffolding hides the windows and stairs run down the corners as if the building was still under construction.  It’s a stark contrast to the elegance of Paris.

The wait to get in was about an hour, but the street performers in the square kept us entertained.  I’m not sure what was more entertaining: their performances or people’s reactions once they step inside Centre Pompidou.

Here’s the thing about modern art:  some of it is really cool for no good reason, and some of it is really stupid for a lot of good reasons.  There were a few people that seemed genuinely ticked off that some of this “art” even made it into a museum.  There were things like a random smudge on a blank canvas.  A piece of rope hanging from the ceiling.  A sliced piece of fabric hanging from the wall.  A sound-proof room with a piano.

“What the heck is this!?” is a phrase that’s easily understood in any language.  But I still think “I could do better than that” was probably the most common phrase we heard.

That’s the fun part of modern art:  you get to debate about whether it really is art.  Some of the works I “got.”  They made sense to me.  Other times I didn’t get it.  Hence, I was annoyed.

But for every confusing and frustrating piece of work, there was an awesome piece of eye candy, including some artwork that we actually walked into.  Our favorite was a room that looked like it came out of an episode of The Flinstones; it was like a cave made of cartoonish white stones with black outlines that were fitted together like Tetris pieces.

Once we got tired of arguing about the validity of some of the artwork, we went to the sixth floor for a panoramic view of Paris.  On a clear night, the view is probably fantastic.  On a misty night… not so much.

Learn more about Centre Pompidou here.

It’s easy to overlook the Marais district on a visit to Paris.  There’s no major tourist draw.  There’s no clear identity.  It’s like the Marais is the middle child in a family of 7 — not noticed, but crying for attention.  So, what’s there to see in Le Marais?

Place de la Bastille

Remember reading about the infamous Bastille in high school?  Well, it doesn’t exist anymore.  The castle-slash-fortress-slash-prison was destroyed not long after the people of Paris raided it on July 14th, 1789, effectively inciting the French Revolution.  In its place stands the Colonne de Julliet, a 154-foot tall green column that commemorates the July Revolution of 1830.  The square is also home to Opéra Bastille.

Place des Vosges & Victor Hugo’s House

Paris’ oldest square is a quaint, comforting little place to take a break before checking out a free museum dedicated to one of Paris’ most famous authors.  Here’s another flashback to those dreaded high school tests — recall the name Victor Hugo?  He’s the guy who wrote “The Hunchback Of Notre Dame” and “Les Miserables” (only the French can make the word “miserable” sound sexy).

His former residence is at #6 and it still looks the same today as it did when he lived there.  The man knew who to write… but he really didn’t know how to design.  The carpets match the wall paper and the wall paper match the curtains.

Carnavalet Musuem

The Musee Carnavalet is essentially two giant mansions filled with artifacts and paintings that chronicle the history of Paris from its origins to today.  The best part?  It’s one of the few museums in Paris that’s free.  (Only the permanent exhibit.)

Archives Nationales

The French National Archives is one of the largest archives in the world, containing over 226 miles of documents, some dating back to the year 625.  If you can read French and you’re idea of fun is reading old papers, then knock yourself out.

Hotel de Ville

Again, another place called “hotel” that is in fact not a hotel.  This beautiful building is instead the City Hall of Paris.  Most of the building is off-limits to the public, but the information center has free exhibits about Paris in the lobby.

Rue des Rosiers

If you’re tired of French food and you just need to eat some matzah ball soup or potato latkes, rue des Rosiers is the place for you.  This street runs down the center of Paris’ old Jewish quarter and it still contains many Jewish restaurants and shops.

Musee Picasso

The Pablo Picasso Museum contains over 3,000 of his works (including scrapbooks, paintings, etc.) as well as paintings he collected from other artists.  Of all things, Picasso was obsessed with African masks, and his personal collection is also on display.

There are many other sights worthy of your attention in the 3rd and 4th arrondissement on the right bank, but those are the highlights.  It’s best to simply stroll through Le Marais, admire the architecture and get a feel for laid back Paris.

I’m gonna debunk this right here and now because I don’t want any of you to have the same expectations that I did about Notre Dame:  there is no hunchback.  There are some old people with hunchbacks.  There may even be the occasional visitor named Esmeralda.  But there is no beautiful gypsy woman.  So what is there?  An architectural wonder.

We’ve all seen pictures of Notre Dame.  We’ve seen the Gothic architecture.  We’ve seen the rose window.  We’ve seen the flying buttresses and the two towers and the portals.  But the pictures don’t compare to actually being there.

Up close and personal, the detail is so rich and so ornate, it’s hard to believe this church was built almost 800 years ago.  But it’s easy to believe that it took almost 200 years to construct.

The portals have amazing depth and dimension.  Each of the three portals contain literally hundreds of sculptures and each one is unique.

The interior is just as remarkable.  As soon as we stepped inside, we wondered how the nave even fit in the church (because Notre Dame doesn’t look that big from outside).  Must be an optical illusion or something.

The stained glass windows are colorful even on a cloudy day.  The candle-lit chandeliers that illuminate the interior made us feel as if we were stepping back in time — a much darker time (and we didn’t even need a DeLorean to get there!).  And the scale model was almost as exciting as the real thing.  Almost.

The church is free to enter, but you have to pay a small fee to climb 20 stories to the top.  Get more info about Notre Dame here.

The Deportation Memorial

Behind Notre Dame, at the tip of the Ile de la Cité, there’s a small park that contains Memorial de la Deportation.

Down some stairs and through a corridor so thin it would make a claustrophobic person hyperventalate is a stone white chamber.

Inside there’s a hall with 200,000 crystal candles, one for each French citizen that was a victim of the holocaust.

On the walls are the names of infamous concentration camps, and a plaque on the floor reads (in French): “They went to the end of the earth and did not return.”

You’d think a building housing numerous military museums would be camouflaged.  But the Hotel des Invalides (not a real hotel) is bright white and topped with a golden dome.  Go figure.

Les Invalides was built almost 350 years ago as a hospital for sick, injured and old soldiers (hence the word “invalid”).  Today it’s used as a site for military monuments, artifacts and tombs.

It’s best known for housing Napoleon’s sarcophagus.  As much as the guy liked extravagance, his tomb is only moderately better than the average coffin.

If you really wanna see it, and if you’re a big military buff, you probably won’t mind forking over 8.50€.  But that’s not really our thing (we’ve never even played “Call Of Duty”), so we walked around the perimeter and admired the gardens instead.

Check out prices and hours of operations here.