The Jetpacker

Some people just can’t travel without their dog.

Sure, a lot can go wrong for dogs on airplanes, like freezing to death or over-heating or getting shipped to the wrong destination (if they can lose your luggage, they can lose your dog).

And the dangers are even higher for flat-faced dogs like bulldogs and pugs — they account for almost half of dog deaths on airplanes in the last five years.

But some people love their dog so much that they’re willing to put them through life-threatening situations just to have their company while on vacation.  How sweet.

The problem is that once they arrive, they can’t always take their dogs out with them, particularly to restaurants.

But that’s changing in England.

A chain called Brakspear is now serving a doggy menu at a couple of their gastropubs.  The menu includes “chicken and beef” and “liver and garden vegetable” dishes (since when do dogs like vegetables?  Humans don’t even like vegetables.).

Of course, no meal is complete without dessert.  That calls for a visit to K99, the world’s first ice cream truck for dogs.

Some of the flavors offered include chicken and bacon or traditional vanilla with dog biscuit sprinkles, and they’re safe enough to be eaten by dogs or humans (don’t pretend like you’ve never tried a dog biscuit… tasted like a stale graham cracker, didn’t it?).

K99 debuted at a “pet party” last weekend and will start to make appearances at parks all around London this summer.

Is this really necessary?  Dogs are the same creatures that eat petrified crap off the ground.

They don’t care what their food tastes like.  They have no sense of gourmet or organic ingredients.  Come on, they get excited over table scraps.

Plus, if these people really loved their dogs, they wouldn’t subject them to things like cramped shipping crates and British food.  That’s just cruel.

Besides, it’s things like that that will lead to HALF of all dogs in the UK dying of obesity.

According to a new study from the People’s Dispensary of Sick Animals (odd title – do they just hand out sick animals?), 35% of dogs in the UK are obese because their owners over indulge their pets with table scraps and treats.

The healthier dogs are supposedly in London, but that won’t last long if they keep hitting the ice cream truck.