The Jetpacker

Harrods is London encapsulated in a department store: it’s gaudy, it’s braggadocios, and everything is wayyyyy too expensive.  But it’s the one store you have to visit in London just to say you actually found your way out (perhaps with a T-shirt that reads: “I Survived Harrods And All I Got Was This $200 T-Shirt”).

The first thing we did when we visited was grab a map.  There are 330 departments spread over 7 floors, and finding something in particular is like being a rat searching for a piece of cheese in a maze (most likely a very expensive piece of Blue Stilton cheese from the Harrods Food Hall).  Not to mention there are thousands of other rats congesting the maze.  It gets very cramped, but, as the locals say, “it’s part of the experience.”

This place isn’t like your neighborhood Sears.  It’s more like a museum that just so happens to have a ton of things you can buy. Harrods is just as famous for its haute couture as it is its monuments and memorials.

There’s a 30,000,000-year old piece of wood on the Egyptian-inspired ground floor, flanked by small reproductions of the Sphinx.  On the lower level is a memorial to Princess Di and Dodi Al Fayed, the son of Harrods owner Mohamed Al Fayed.  The memorial also contains the engagement ring that Dodi allegedly bought for Diana the day before they both died in a car crash.  Al Fayed recently said there has been talk of building a memorial statue of Michael Jackson.

After checking out the Princess Di memorial, we quickly became lost in the cramped labyrinth that is Harrods.  And the longer we spent in there, the more tempted we were to buy something.

So we did the touristy thing and purchased some tea for our families.  It was about the only item we could afford.  I also bought a traditional Christmas pudding that was heavily reduced in price.  But it was eventually confiscated at Heathrow airport because it was partially liquid and obviously bomb-like.  (I think security stole my pudding for their own personal enjoyment.  Thieves!)

We’ll tell you the one thing that Harrods isn’t: it isn’t a place to take a break.  There’s not a seat or a bench to be found.  It’s like a casino: get lost, spend money.  The only way to get a seat is to buy something in one of the store’s restaurants or cafes, or to pretend you’re trying on shoes in the shoe department.

Harrods is definitely a place you’ll want to hit early in the day so your feet aren’t tired from walking around the city.  Devise your plan of attack before you visit by checking out their website here.