The Jetpacker

There’s a reason Las Vegas is called Sin City.

Walk down The Strip and groups of (possibly illegal) immigrants will try to hand you cards with pictures of nearly naked escorts.  You’ll see scantily clad girls working stripper poles, drunks clutching 20-ounce margaritas and shady people hawking questionably legit discounted tickets to topless pools.

But of all the morally corrupt things on full display that could be banned by the city of Las Vegas, they’re aiming for something they consider even more dangerous: hula hoops.

The Las Vegas City Council is considering a bill that will ban hula hoop performers on The Fremont Street Experience because they say it causes public disruptions and obstructs the flow of traffic.  (Public disruptions?  The entire city is one big disruption.)

Instead, the ordinance would push hula-hoopers and other street performers into one of two “free expression zones.”  (Isn’t the entire country a free expression zone, or are we getting the first amendment confused with the rules of Fight Club?)

We’re not sure if the councilmen who proposed this ordinance have ever been to The Fremont Street Experience, but one of the reasons people head to this five-block pedestrian mall downtown is to see all the crazy acts, musical performers and celebrity impersonators.

The mall is as wide as a five-lane freeway, and last time we checked, hula-hoops weren’t that wide.  So we’re not sure how a hula-hoop could block that much foot traffic.

In our opinion, the Las Vegas City Council has other things to worry about.  We’ve seen hookers try to pick up johns in hotel casinos and valets selling pot.  We really don’t think hula-hoops are a major concern.