The Jetpacker

We talked all about the Orange County Great Park in Irvine, California previously in a guest post, but since there’s not much to see other than some artistic renditions of what the park will look like in a decade or two, we wanted to take you for a ride on the park’s only attraction: The Great Park Balloon.

You know how movies and TV shows are always made into theme park rides?

Well, the Orange County Great Park Balloon is kinda like The O.C. The Ride: it’s dramatic and mildly enjoyable, with an underwhelming middle and a satisfying conclusion.  Unlike the TV show, however, it’s not a total waste of time (even though that’s one of the top 3 things Orange County is known for, right above conservatism and just below plastic surgery).

It’s no Disneyland, but a ride on the Great Park Balloon is free, and the wait is short.

The first thing you do is pick up boarding passes.  Of course, you have to sign your life away just in case the balloon detaches from its tether and flies away — one of the pilots assured me that if that did happen, the balloon would drift about 10 miles before crashing safely into the ocean (where we could be eaten by sharks?) — or the balloon pops and we plummet to our splattery deaths.

Luckily, we’re in a first world country, and that means the balloon is completely safe.

After you redeem your passes, up to 30 people board the ring-shaped steel carriage.  The balloon wobbles as you disembark — this is the moment where you’ll question your decision-making — but the carriage quickly evens out, giving way to a smooth ascent.

Before you know it, you’re 400 feet above the ground, walking around the carriage to get a panoramic view of the decommissioned El Toro Marine Base and the surrounding area.

Admittedly, the view isn’t that spectacular: old runways, some hills, a few buildings, master-planned communities, two congested freeways, a shopping mall, and a thick layer of smog that limits long-distance vision (allegedly you can see up to 20 miles on a clear day, but that’s something nonexistent in Southern California).

If you’re lucky, however, you’ll have a flock of loud kids aboard your flight who love to give adults mild heart attacks by running around the carriage and shaking it back and forth.

Or maybe you’ll get a good gust of wind that rumbles through the carriage and knocks it around.

Or you might even be aboard when everyone decides to congregate in one section, causing the carriage to tilt uncomfortably.

Those are always options to give your flight a little more drama.

Fortunately, most people value safety, so rides are typically gentle and relaxing, with a calming sway and a light breeze that tickles your face as you hang in midair.

After a few minutes to imagine what the park will look like once it’s completed, the balloon descends so slowly that you don’t even realize you’re about to touchdown until he pilot tells you to clutch the handrails and prepare for landing.

Adventure-seekers will probably find the balloon ride as exciting as watching a children’s soccer game (the #4 thing The OC is known for is soccer moms), but for everyone else, it’s a quick, fun and free thing to do in Orange County… unless you have a fear of heights.