Montmartre, in the north of Paris’ 18th arrondissement, is like an obstacle course: cobble stone streets, steep hills, winding paths, thin corridors, tennis ball launchers hunting you at every turn.  Okay, I made that last part up.  Even though Montmartre can be a cramped and confusing labyrinth, it’s also one of the most beautiful and distinct quarters in Paris.

Montmartre has always been known as the district of artists, prostitutes, thieves and club-goers.  So it’s a little surprising that the biggest draw is… a church.

Sacred Heart Basilica

The highest point is Paris is home to the Sacred Heart Basilica.  It’s blindingly white.  It’s intricately detailed.  It’s… really high up that hill.  You can take a funicular up to the top for one metro ticket.  But we decided to test our athleticism and climb it instead.

Sure, we had to take a few breathers.  But it was worth it.  With each step, the church’s ornate design became more and more clear.  By the time we reached the top, legs aching, lungs burning, we were rewarded with one of the most stunning views of Paris.

Up close, it’s easy to understand why the church took 44 years to build.  Every stone is cut perfectly.  Every statue is carved impeccably.  Every pattern is sophisticated.

But the best feature of the church has to be its invisible force field.  You read that right.  Force field. Back in World War II, 13 bombs were dropped straight over the church… but not one hit.

Place du Tertre

Place du Tertre, also called the “Artist’s Square,” is a place where you can purchase an original painting by an undiscovered artist at a reasonable price.  (You never know if you’ll buy something from the next Picasso.)  You could also get a hand-drawn self-portrait by one of the many people who will persistently bug you, but that’s what the state fair is for.

Lapin Agile

This cabaret was made famous by Pablo Picasso’s 1905 painting “At The Lapin Agile.”  Picasso, Renoir, Utrillo and other painters used to mingle here with the boisterous, lower-class people that filled “The Nimble Rabbit” every night.

Square Suzanne Buisson

We took a break in this quiet park which is well known for a lovely, child-friendly statue of St. Denis… holding his own decapitated head.

Look ma, no head!

Place Marcel Aymé

Continuing with the theme of bizarre statues, we had to check out a square dedicated to French writer Marcel Aymé.  His most famous short story was called “The Walker Through Walls,” which might explain this statue.

Place Dalida

This small square is dedicated to the famous French singer and actress Dalida.  It contains a life-size bust of this once attractive woman.  But guys might not want to get too close.  She had a negative effect on men.  3 of her former lovers committed suicide.  She did too in 1987.

Moulin de la Galette

There used to be 30 windmills on this hill.  Now there’s only 2.  And this is the most famous.

Van Gogh’s House

#54 rue Lepic was once home to Vincent Van Gogh.  Unlike most former homes of famous people, you can’t go in and hope to find an old nail clipping to sell on eBay.  You can only look at the door.  Had Van Gogh used this door as a canvas, it would have been less… blue.

Moulin Rouge

It’s red.  And it’s a windmill.  Just like the name says.  So I guess we shouldn’t have expected something more.  It’s just that the movie made it seem so cool.  And maybe the Moulin Rogue is cool on the inside.  But it costs over 100€ to find out.

Cafe de Deux Moulins

Remember that movie “Amelie”?  This is where it was filmed.  It looked exactly like it did in the movie… except way smaller and not nearly as colorful.

Other Sights

Montmartre is also packed with sights like The Dali Museum, The Museum Of Montmartre, The Montmarte Cemetary, The Museum Of Eroticism, the famous 19th century music hall Elysee Montmartre, and Cinema Studio 28.