The Jetpacker

When a pub is older than most countries in existence, you know it’s gotta be good.  U Fleků was founded in 1499 and today it remains the oldest and most popular pub and microbrewery in Prague.

Why has U Fleků lasted for over 500 years?  Because this isn’t your ordinary watering hole.

#1.)  This place is huge.  There are 8 beer halls with a capacity for 1,200 drunks.

#2.)  There isn’t a tacky jukebox where for a quarter, some jerk can buy the right to belt out an off-key rendition of Bon Jovi’s “Living On A Prayer.”  Instead, the entire hall sings and sways to the music of a live accordion player.  I had no clue what the hell I was singing, so I just made up words (which I’m pretty good at thanks to the undecipherable lyrics to any Red Hot Chili Peppers song.)

#3.)  You can only get one kind of beer here: U Fleků’s homemade dark lager.  Options are for people who have never found greatness.

When we first sat down, we weren’t greeted by a waiter.  We didn’t receive a menu.  No.  Before our butts even hit the seats, a waiter plopped down two beers right in front of us.  That’s right.  You don’t ask for a beer here.  You just get it.  They know why you’re here and they don’t waste any time getting you sloshed.  If only all things in life were this easy.

Now, I don’t want to be stripped of my man card or anything, but I’ve never been a fan of beer.  Jackie doesn’t like it much either.  American beer is like a bitter, unrefreshing soda.  And you know what they say, “if it looks like piss and smells like piss, it’s probably beer.”

But my mouth was blissfully violated by the unimaginable greatness of U Fleků’s luscious libation.  Everything changed when I took that first sip.  It was sweet.  It was smooth.  It didn’t have much carbonation.  It was kind of like drinking a doughnut.  And if there’s anything I’ve always wanted in drinkable form, it’s a doughnut.  This is the kind of beer that makes me want to take up alcoholism.

And what makes it even better is that the sweetness of the beer compliments the saltiness of the food.  By the time I was done eating, I downed three mugs.  Though, according to the ridiculous amount of out of focus photos we took of us drinking, it would appear as if we had way more.

Now that’s not to say that U Fleků doesn’t have its faults:

#1.)  It’s way more expensive than most pubs.  Our bill ran almost $60 for our meals and some drinks.

#2.)  If you think it’s free, it probably isn’t.  That basket of bread?  Yeah, that’ll cost you.  During our meal, a waiter came by and dropped off two shots of a cinnamon liquor reminiscent of Goldschläger.  We thought they were complimentary.  Turns out they were $5 a piece.

#3.)  U Fleků isn’t popular with the locals.  It’s a tourist spot all the way.  And when I say tourist spot, I mean bus stop for every single German tour bus that visits Prague.

But with such a lively atmosphere, fun music, communal tables and awesome beer, the pros outweigh the cons.  Their website is only in Czech, but take a look.