The Jetpacker

The flag for the city of Amsterdam is like an advertisement for debauchery — bold red bars sandwiching a black bar with three “X’s.”  And that XXX debauchery is best on display in Amsterdam’s infamous Red Light District.

Amsterdam actually has three red light districts, but the largest and most popular is in De Wallen, near Centraal Station.  The main drag stretches for a few blocks down a canal lined street with hundreds of red windows that branch off into various dark, thin alleys.  (Why the red light?  It makes skin look younger and smoother.)

Perusing the red light district is like window shopping… except the mannequins are alive and they wear tacky bikinis and lingerie.  The girls advertise their services in the windows by dancing seductively, winking at you to lure you in, and tapping on the glass to get your attention.  One girl was giving herself a very thorough breast examination in the window and she had an intensely serious look on her face that concerned me.  Other girls went for the passive route, sitting there with a morose frown, smoking a cigarette, making no effort whatsoever.

Each building looked like an open box of chocolate with red-cubed trays displaying a different alluring treat, perhaps a young, chubby brunette or a tall, busty blonde.  There was even a bank of windows that belonged to a group of large black women catering to the BBW crowd.  Oddly enough, this section was smack dab in front of the district’s most unusual feature: an old church… called the Old Church (or Oudekerk in Dutch, it dates to the 14th century).

We often saw younger men talking with the women behind the glass, negotiating a price as if it were a garage sale — anywhere from €40 to €200 for 15 to 20 minutes is standard — but we didn’t see anyone go in or come out of a room.  However, there were quite a few windows with the red light turned off and the curtain shut.

So what was it like seeing all that?  Honestly, it wasn’t that weird.  Now this is coming from two people who live in Southern California, where tiny skirts, fake breasts and midriffs are on display every day.  Walking the beaches, perusing the malls or going to a nightclub is like being in a red light district — the girls advertise in a similar fashion, except the intention is not as blatant.

For conservative people with old-fashioned values, however, Amsterdam’s Red Light District must seem like a gateway to a neon-red hell.  Only a thin layer of lingerie stands between you and your imagination.

Over the past couple of years the area has shrunk dramatically.  In 2007, some brothels closed down due to suspected criminal activity.  And in 2008, the government shut down prostitution in even more buildings to make lofts for young designers.

So it’s best to see the Red Light District before it becomes a relic of the past.  The area is most crowded at night when the women work the windows and curious tourists pack the paths along the canal.  It’s generally considered a safe place, but you have to be cautious of pickpockets, shady drug-dealers and pimps (sex workers are unionized and pimps are forbidden).  Photography is strictly prohibited, so don’t plan on taking home any free souvenirs.

As strange as it sounds, the Red Light District isn’t as seedy as you might think.  It’s actually surprisingly clean (though I insisted on carrying a bottle of Purell with me anyway), and it’s not uncommon to see families with children walking through the area (heck, they probably see worse on MTV anyway).  The area may be defined by a long history of prostitution, but it’s characterized by its liveliness, great architecture and picturesque views of the canal.

So leave your inhibitions at the hotel, come with an open mind and don’t be embarrassed.  There are thousands of people just as curious, and you’re not doing anything wrong by examining a different culture with a different set of values.  The Red Light District is a great place to understand and appreciate the tolerant, laid back lifestyle of Amsterdam.