The Jetpacker

Argentina is one of those rare destinations where the food rivals the tourist attractions.  You’re likely to spend as much time eating or recovering from a food coma as you are snapping photographs of monuments and attractions.  Since a good portion of your day will be dedicated to consuming unheard of amounts of food, it’s beneficial to know what you’ll be eating so you can plan your method of attack.

There are a few things you have know before the gluttony begins.  First, whatever diet you’re currently suffering through… forget about it.  You’ve only got one life to live, so you might as well knock off a few months and indulge in all the greasy, fatty, salty delights that Argentina has to offer.  Argentine food is a combination of Spanish and Italian cuisines, two countries that produce a lot of recipes you won’t find in a healthy eating book.

Second, I’ve got some good news and bad news for vegetarians.  The bad news is, you won’t be eating much.  Seeing a vegetable in Argentina is about as common as seeing a shooting star.  But the good news is, starvation is a great way to lose weight fast, right?  No?  Oh.  Well, then there is no good news then.  Sorry, vegetarians.

Here’s a list of the staples of the glorious Argentine diet…

MEALS

Steak

Steaks in Argentina aren’t like the kind you get at the Sizzler — or even (gasp!) Outback — down the street.  They’re thick, juicy, tender and perfectly cooked every time.  You won’t need to drown your steak in a bottle of A1 either.  The meat from the grass-fed cows speaks for itself, with only a light sprinkling of salt and pepper accentuating the natural flavor.  If you like a little more flavor, chimichurri is almost always available as an accompaniment.  Chimichurri is a tangy sauce made of garlic, parsley, red pepper and olive oil.

Seeking out an amazing steak in Argentina isn’t tough either — the most common restaurant is a parilla, or barbeque, and each one serves up every cut of cow you can imagine.  The best part is, these delicious steaks can be found at many parillas for less than it would cost to buy an expiring steak at your grocery store.  Side dishes most often include potatoes, either mashed or fried, and corn, either creamed or grilled on the cob.

Fire Pit & Rotisserie Meats

With steaks this good in Argentina, it’s hard to imagine eating an animal other than cow, but if you must, you have options such as white meat and the other white meat.  Many parillas have two different cooking areas: a grill for steaks and a pit for pork, where butterflied pig carcasses crackle and pop over an open fire.  If you don’t want suckling pig or pork chops, you can get well-seasoned though often dry chicken at a rotisserie.

Sausage

Argentines eat a lot of animal, which means there’s a lot of nasty left over stuff that doesn’t normally sound delicious.  But take all that bloody mess, put it in an intestinal casing with some seasonings and offer it to me as a sausage, and I’m in.  The most popular sausage in Argentina is chorizo, a pork sausage that’s smoky and fatty, and very heavy for an appetizer.  Another popular sausage is morcilla, a blood sausage made of congealed cow or pork blood.

Empanadas

Mankind’s greatest and most useful invention, behind modern medicine and Super Soakers, has to be stuffed pastry.  Empanadas are pastries stuffed with meat like ground beef or chicken, then deep fried and served with a side of chimichurri.  Other fillings include ham and cheese, corn, squash, or even dessert items like chocolate.  Empanadas are generally fried, but the greasiness can sometimes be overwhelming.  That’s why we went crazy for the oven baked empanadas at a restaurant called Cumana in Buenos Aires.  Although empanadas are considered street food or appetizers at best, we ordered 7 or 8 empanadas each at Cumana and ate ‘em as a meal.

Provoleta

Barbequed cheese.  Those two words don’t sound like they should go together without there being a world of problems (and for us there was because we tried to recreate this Argentine treat at home with messy and dangerous results).  But somehow, someway, the magic-wielding chefs in Argentine parillas managed to find a way to grill an inch-thick slice of provolone cheese over an open fire without the disc melting away.  The crispy, grilled-marked shell of the provoleta protects the delicious, melting cheese on the inside, creating a massively unhealthy but sinfully delicious appetizer.  Sometimes the provoleta is cooked on the same grill as the steaks, so the cheese picks up a faint meaty flavor, though usually the oregano and olive oil coating masks the taste.

Pizza

The debate over which pizza is superior — thin crust or deep dish — has a new competitor, and it’s literally right in the middle.  Pizza is popular in Argentina thanks to a large Italian population, but it’s a little different than you’re used to.  Argentine pizza is a fork-and-knife concoction that looks like a Chicago style deep dish even though the crust is generally thinner like New York style pizza.  What makes the pizza so dense is the thick layer of cheese and liberal toppings like the mountain of onions you’ll find on the unique fugazetta pizza.  You can read about our two favorite pizza places in Buenos Aires here.

Italian Classics

Pizza isn’t the only popular Italian dish in Argentina.  Italian restaurants are widespread in Buenos Aires and they serve all the traditional dishes you’d expect to find: cannelloni, ravioli, and pasta.  But by now you’ve realized that Argentines like their food unhealthy, and that’s why the most common dish is Milanese, which is any kind of breaded and fried meat, most often chicken.

DESSERTS

The dessert menus in Argentine restaurants are usually short and sweet (pun intended) with no more than a handful of options.  If the provoleta and the steak didn’t fill you up, a flan will do the job.  Flan is a sweet and dense custard pie topped with a watery layer of crème caramel.  If, on the other hand, you’re looking for something lighter, you can’t go wrong with helado.  Helado is more similar to gelato than ice cream, and comes in all the flavors you’d expect, such as chocolate or dulce de leche, a classic South American flavor closely related to caramel.

BEVERAGES

Malbec Wine

You’re gonna need a nice red wine to wash down all that red meat, and Argentina has plenty to offer.  Their national variety is Malbec, a dark, robust and fruity wine that comes from the Mendoza region.  We’re no wine experts… actually, we barely qualify as wine drinkers… but the Malbec in Argentina was so delicious, we left behind some of our belongings to make room in our bags to bring home a few bottles.  Ok, we didn’t, but we would have if needed!

Natural Coke

Coca-Cola is the most famous brand name in the world, yet despite all its wealth, the company decided to increase its profit margins in 1985 by cheapening its product.  Instead of using natural sugar, Coca-Cola switched to the much sweeter high fructose corn syrup in most markets.  However, Argentina is one of the few markets that retained the original recipe.  So pick up a glass bottle and try Coke the way it was originally intended – naturally sugary.

Mate

It’s early in the morning and you stumble out of your hotel in search of coffee.  But there’s no Starbucks.  There’s no Coffee Bean.  There’s not even 4-day old gas station coffee.  Don’t worry, you can find a cup of pick-me-up in the form of mate.  It’s just as potent and just as addicting!  Read more about mate here.